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Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.

The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.

Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.

Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain

I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.

Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.

Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.

I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.

An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.

Smith & Wesson — the original point and click interface.

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.

Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.